I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
