its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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