i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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