I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
false alarm. still invincible.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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