You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
