Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
