Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize