On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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