I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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