I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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