Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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