Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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