if i can run in heels then i can drive
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
