I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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