You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
