Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My cat gives me a boner
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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