I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize