if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
