First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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