real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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