i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
