Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
