Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
