Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
