he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
