Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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