your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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