Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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