my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
