remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
