im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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