I wish I could punch you in the face.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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