Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
