just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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