Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
