my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize