Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
