I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
