And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
