How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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