Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
