worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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