i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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