I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
