Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's the barista slut.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
