she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
