oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
