I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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