i jhust puked up my retainher.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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