just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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