You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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