I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
