so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
