you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
