im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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