HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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