I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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