What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
