I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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