So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
