I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
God, I missed his penis.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
