I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
