please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You smell like stripper and shame
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
