just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize