This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
