she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My dick has a subreddit
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
