Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
