Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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