How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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