i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
