butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize