we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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