no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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