I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
