It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
