If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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